Melancholy StatE

I feel this melancholy state come over me

Covering my mind to soul like a security blanket

My smiles vanquish beneath the blue of my eyes

Which I close off along with my vivacious spirit

I used to turn to my pen in times of need

Cause all I needed was paper and ink

Now I seem too busy caught in this routine

The days seem to disappear each time I blink

The weeks are an addiction to times pleasure

Shoot up the hours push through its veins

Until months speed by at a quicker pace

Your body grows weary and sick with its pains

You question where have you gone?

Where does your happiness lay?

When the clock is stapled to your wrist

Nagging in your ear the minutes left in your day.

All of your color has faded

Black as the midnight sky

Like those days in Alaska

When the sun says goodnight

No color just shades of gray

No smiles or laughter

Just quiet contemplations

And the emptiness after,

Those things that made me complete

Have drifted from this shore

A mere reflection off in the distance

Soon I won’t see them anymore

I question the things that I have done

And why momentum has carried us to this

Many lonely nights on the couch

Cuddling fear so tightly my faith I sure do miss

I miss you more than anything

It’s not the same when I can’t feel you next to me

It hurts my heart knowing that you don’t feel

When I don’t know of what you say is what you mean

In the middle of the night I hear you say

You know how much I love you, right

In those times I feel what you say is true

But when day breaks my certainty fights

It’s the capsules you take daily that keep you alive

Those are the things that create balance in your mind

I understand that whole-heartedly, but sometimes I want you to let go

I want you to have the freedom to stretch your arms and let creativity flow

I want you to be able to tell me with conviction what you feel

Then I will know everything you say is what is real

To have a moment of emersion, of consensual melting

To fall into one another with what love brings

Then I swallow realities pill consciously

Let it absorb into my blood system quite quickly

And are snapped back to the truth of circumstance

That things are the way they are no matter my plea

I’d rather have pieces of you, then nothing at all

A great puzzle you are the years we have been

Hopefully one day I will still have the energy

To find all the parts of you once again

And one day this routine will be broken

And time we will have like all those nights before

And the glorious consumption will be of us two

When we are together for granted I will take no more…