I seem to do this every year. I make a list of the things that i will try and do "please insert year here". The one thing that i succeed in is not finishing what i tend to start. I say this with utmost regret because usually good ideas spark, but something always seems to step in the way...whether it be life in general, time that seems limited, or just flat out dedication that is lacking. This is why i enjoy structure. As much as i hate the routines of my life, i enjoy that i have them because they sort of set me on a path. I used to not be this way, i would used to LOVE to stray from my pebbled road and wander off and see where it would take me...NOW...not so. I freak out at the thought of just a single pinky toe stepping out of bounds. Perhaps i can chalk it up to the fact that i am a honorary CONTROL FREAK (of which, by the way, I have worked hard for many years).
So good news as of yesterday. My brother called at 8:30 in the morning, which threw me into a panic because i call him the caller of "death." For some reason after a relative passes away, he seems to be the barer of bad news. I don't know why he was picked to deliver this sort of news to me, perhaps its because we have this certain kindred connection (besides the fact that he is my brother) and for some reason i always have felt closer and more comfortable with him. Who knows. Back to the story, i was panicking and i say in a deep concerned voice, "What Is Wrong." He is quiet on the other end, hesitant to speak, and anxiety starts to build in this rib cage of mine. I was not prepared AT ALL for the next few words to come out of his mouth. "You are going to be an Auntie." "WHAAAAAT?," I say in complete amazement. So after the initial shock wears off, i start asking questions and accept the details...and i start telling everyone i know.
So good news as of yesterday. My brother called at 8:30 in the morning, which threw me into a panic because i call him the caller of "death." For some reason after a relative passes away, he seems to be the barer of bad news. I don't know why he was picked to deliver this sort of news to me, perhaps its because we have this certain kindred connection (besides the fact that he is my brother) and for some reason i always have felt closer and more comfortable with him. Who knows. Back to the story, i was panicking and i say in a deep concerned voice, "What Is Wrong." He is quiet on the other end, hesitant to speak, and anxiety starts to build in this rib cage of mine. I was not prepared AT ALL for the next few words to come out of his mouth. "You are going to be an Auntie." "WHAAAAAT?," I say in complete amazement. So after the initial shock wears off, i start asking questions and accept the details...and i start telling everyone i know.
There is nothing up to this point that has filled me with happiness than finding out that my younger brother is going to be a daddy...(phew...now the pressure is off of me for a while). See for him its easy, bada bing bada boom and here is this little living thing the size of a tic-tac in the uterus. For me, it will take a thought out plan. First monetary support, two, a carefully selected unknowing "baby daddy." We will in affect go on a smash and grab of some sperm at our local bank, or we can always use Fed-ex (true story a friend of ours had sperm delivered through fed-ex, how convenient, our modern day Stork). I guess in affect it will be like ordering a coffee from Starbucks. I would like a skinny, vanilla, latte, with no whip please...credit card? oh yes, right here...swipe and transaction complete. Turkey baster (check), helping hand, being my partner (check), legs in the air (check), candles (i would prefer some romantic interaction here) (check check), candles away from flammables (oh yes check check check). Now inseminate. See straight couples they just get lucky. One mishap and Ooops, or perhaps a set plan, and a blessing is created. We gays, it takes a little more planning...and creativity. Either way i am super excited about this little bundle of joy. My parents finally will have the chance to be grandparents...out of all the brothers and sisters from both my mom and dad combined between the two of them, they are the last to have grand kids...well in 9 months, God willing that will not be so anymore. And perhaps i will have my first sister-in-law as well. Who knows, life has its little surprises every now and then...it sort of tosses icy cold water on your head while you are sound asleep, you know that surprise where you pee just a tiny bit. Well that's how i feel at this point, Oops, just peed...i little bit.
So perhaps this year i shall try to stray from the path a bit. I may try to write in this blog everyday or at least once a week. Hopefully i will be an aunt this year...and if i am lucky i will get knocked up and be raising a kid by this time next year...or...i will be doing the same exact thing next year, one year older, and more wiser (ha!)...writing about the things that i wish i could have done, but haven't yet grabbed the "invisible balls" that have yet to drop to do something about a life... a little less ordinary.
So perhaps this year i shall try to stray from the path a bit. I may try to write in this blog everyday or at least once a week. Hopefully i will be an aunt this year...and if i am lucky i will get knocked up and be raising a kid by this time next year...or...i will be doing the same exact thing next year, one year older, and more wiser (ha!)...writing about the things that i wish i could have done, but haven't yet grabbed the "invisible balls" that have yet to drop to do something about a life... a little less ordinary.
